"What great tomato-growing ideas! I've been 'container gardening' my Big Boys in old abandoned refrigerators in the front yard for years now, but next season, I'll take Mike's advice and trellis them up the side of our double-wide!"--Martha Slewart, Martha Slewart's Lying "Did I write this book? So many of the jokes just seem so...familiar."--Garrison Keelover, A Prairie Home Tomato "Aren't these things poisonous to eat?"--Thomas Jefferson, farmer and framer "Forget basketball! I'm retiring again to grow heirloom tomatoes! Now, what kind of shoes am I gonna need . . . ?"--Michael Jardin, tall guy "This is just the kind of 'hidden message' book I expect from you left-leaning, liberal-compost-applying, communal gardening, card-carrying organic types! Well, you don't fool me one bit-- enticing the youth of America to experiment with PINK tomatoes! RED fruits! Arkansas TRAVELER-- or is that Arkansas FELLOW TRAVELERS??? I'm sticking with my red, white, and blue potatoes!"--Rush ToJudgement,
